I am going to be honest with you-right now we are in the “tree of trust” and since I know you are all my friends here I can share my personal feelings with you, but this week was a tougher week for me. It seemed like I came into a lot of negativity this week. Maybe it was something I was feeling and I was attracting more of it to me, or maybe I was looking at the situation wrong all together. This week I kept running into the same situation whenever I asked someone how they were doing and it was… “not well, the weather sucks, I am at work, I would rather be doing something else, etc., etc.” (Granted I would help anybody who really needed help but these statements were something different). Now those may not seem like big things to bring someone down, but it seemed like more times than not I was getting stuff about why people’s situations were not good at that moment. It was draining my energy and I was sick and tired of hearing all the complaining frankly. When discussing my dismay; I came to four things I wanted to discuss in this blog: fixing, focusing, feeling, and defending.
The first issue that my brilliant girlfriend (who helps bring me back to earth sometimes) brought to my attention was maybe it’s not my job to fix these people. I have been told time and time again that my downfall is wanting to help everyone; to be the answer for everyone. The fact is: I can’t be everything to everyone, and the other issue is that maybe my way isn’t the best way for them anyways. It’s not about me changing everyone. I found myself trying to force an answer of telling them it was an amazing day, in hopes that I could influence a change in them. It felt like I was trying to prove something to them and that maybe it wouldn’t be seen anyways because their focus was more on their negative situation. Also it is not my mission to preach, I have to remember the best way to reach anyone is by leading from example. It is my hope that I will have a great enough energy that I don’t have to say anything to prove to people that it is a great day. What I want to remember is by focusing on their negativity it keeps me in a negative state as well, and then I am not able to help those who need my positivity. It’s a waste of my energy to force those who cannot see the light anyways.
Having a Good Defense:
I got thinking about a saying my old ice hockey coach used to tell us: “If you play great defense, the worst that you can do is tie.” Now to put that into terms that actually makes sense to this blog, maybe I shouldn’t give people a chance to tell me something negative. There is a saying that I ask people who I am friends with and who I work with in my life coaching: “what’s good with you?” What if I didn’t give people a chance to be negative with me? What if I was the source that could help them to change their awareness to look at the great things around them, by just asking a different question? And what if I could do it without forcing or making it painfully obvious, that I am trying to preach at them how they need to be? Yes they may say they have nothing exciting going on, but you deflected them away from that negativity even for just a split second.
How Do you Feel/Where is Your Focus?:
Yes I know I won’t be able to help everyone, and it’s not my job to be the savior. In fact I am not even anywhere close to that. I just want to say that in a world that tends to focus on negativity, you don’t have to surround yourself with it. You don’t have to keep your attention towards it. People tell me all the time it is unrealistic to be happy all the time, and you know what; that is their opinion. Life is meant to be enjoyed, you are meant to be happy. In every situation there is good or bad, so where is your focus… are you continually focusing on the bad in the situation or finding the good in every situation? It feels good to be happy! When we are happy we are creative, when we are happy anything and everything is possible, when we are happy we are connected to Source and in-line with our true potential; so why the hell are we focusing so hard on all the stuff that irritates us?
As I came to a cross roads this week thinking well maybe I will stop asking people how they are, since it seems like I am just getting negativity anyways. And my focus towards others negativity was only making me feel down as well-that people are having bad days because it is raining, or they don’t want to be at work, or whatever other reason we can come up with. I want to share this principle with the world (and consistently remind myself as well) that THERE ARE NO BAD DAYS EVER!!!! Life is about PERCEPTION and in every situation there is a chance to focus on the great things or to focus on our lack/negative aspects. We are blessed with so many amazing things that we don’t even acknowledge (life, family, friends, freedom, breath, walking, being able to communicate, being able to love and have love, and whatever other thing you can think of). I haven’t been to a third world country, but time and time again I hear stories of people who have almost close to nothing that are still smiling brighter and bigger and enjoying their life more than we are… how is that possible???
So the next time you think about how you are doing, take a look at what you REALLY have in your life. What are you focusing on: is it on the bad things that are temporary (and you can find bad in any situation), or is it on the great things that are happening in your life? Life is perception, and the greatest lessons I have learned in my life were the hardest ones. I could look back and say “Man that time in my life sucked and I felt bad going thru it, and WHY did I have to go thru it,” or I can choose to look at it in a positive way and say “you know what??? I learned a lot from that time and I am glad I am able to apply those lessons right now in my life.” When asking what our purpose of life is, one that can be worked towards is self-actualization-the achievement of one’s amazing full potential through creativity and independence. How are you doing so far in realizing your potential and putting your best life forward?
1)What is your focus on throughout your day? Are you focusing more on the so called negativity, or are you focusing on the positive aspects of your life.
2)What if you didn’t give people a chance to focus on the negative. Yes there are times when something is wrong and that person needs an ear to listen, but there are times people aren’t really looking for a solution but a way to justify them to continue feeling bad about their situation. Ask someone what’s good in their life?
3)Enjoy your life and be the example of what it means to be happy and full of life. Happiness and sadness is a choice. Which choice are you going to continually choose for your life?
If you like what I am doing with this site and the message I am sharing then please make sure to share my site and blogs with as many people as you can. It is my dream and mission to reach and touch as many people as I possibly can with a different message than what the world is sending out of limitation and negativity. Lets send out a message of positivity and love to help others see their true unlimited potential. How do you plan on helping someone else put their best life forward this year? Be the example and share yourself.
© 2012 Chris O’Hearn all rights reserved