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There is a parable that I like called: “Two Wolves”, and it got me thinking about this week’s personal growth challenge about who is winning the crusade of your life.
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.
In my life coaching and personal training business I hear a few common responses when challenging others towards change. It might sound something like this; “I can’t control or help the way I feel, this is just the way that I am-I can’t change.” There is something called emotional reasoning… I feel this way so it must be true. The common misconception is that people are believing that their emotions are in control of them and determining how their day, year, or life will turn out; that there is a wrong side of the bed to get up on, that the weather is going to determine their day, or that someone or something is holding them back from being as successful as they could be.
When I am helping people to think differently I bring up something I like to call the Perception Model. Where the misconception happens is of the old enigma the chicken or the egg-what comes first the feeling/emotion or our thoughts on the event? In essence, our perception will tell us how we relate to the situations happening within our world. Our mind will determine what perception and/or meaning we put to every situation we come in contact with. So, how the Perception Model works is
1) Events will happen within our world that we will see, hear, touch, taste, or smell (I am including all of our five senses because it is how we process things, such as a blind man’s world would be a different perception than of those who can see).
2) We will decide how to process these events through an internal dialogue that is continually going on within our mind.
3) Lastly our thoughts will determine what feelings we want to associate to the events that have happened. Basically, we will decide how we will process (feeling sad, happy, joyful, appreciative, etc.) and how we relate to the events we are dealing with at the time.
To put it simply the eyes see the event (or one of our other senses), we process the event in our mind, and then we determine what emotion we want to associate with that event through our thoughts. Our THOUGHTS are what are dictating how we will feel about something.
The misconception is some people think that the emotion is the thing that happens first; this person dies and I was immediately sad, I lost my job and I felt bad right away, my boyfriend/girlfriend cheated on me and I felt so angry I couldn’t help myself from slashing their tires and throwing paint on their car and keying it… (the truth of the matter some people actually believe that their rage was uncontrollable). The real story is, you will have a thought within your mind about what is happening and then the thought will associate the feeling it thinks is appropriate from past responses. Keep in mind that just because you have acted one way in the past doesn’t mean you have to keep acting that way. The subconscious is not in control of you, your consciousness is.
What you need to remember is that YOU are your mind; your mind is not YOU, YOU are your body; your body is not YOU, YOU are your spirit; your spirit is not YOU. When you understand that YOU are the master controller, that your subconscious is not in control (your subconscious is derived from conscious thoughts over and over again… thus creating habits so you don’t have to work so hard), and that you are the author of your life story deciding at EVERY SINGLE MOMENT how you are wanting to feel, think, and act-you will begin being more in control of your life.
Yes, we are humans and we will go thru a wide range of emotions in our lifetime. Life is not about being a robot; we are meant to experience many if not every aspect or emotion of life. The issue is we just don’t take the time to process things fully and ultimately have forgotten that where we keep our focus is how we will feel. I am not telling you how to feel but life is meant to feel good, you are meant to be happy, and you are meant to enjoy the beautiful gifts of this life. When you focus on what you don’t like, don’t want, or what is bothering you; you are more likely to stay in your negative moods much longer or never get out of those moods. I definitely have come into contact with eternal grumps and pessimists; that no matter what happens it’s never good enough.
So the next time you are saying to someone “I woke up on the wrong side of bed, I can’t help the way that I feel this just is who I am, or that I am not in control and I feel like I am going to have a breakdown;” take a step back and ask who is ultimately in control of how you feel and what is your perception of the situation? Are YOU deciding what to think or are you becoming a slave to old disabling thoughts, habits and beliefs of others telling you who you need to be?
We understand and live our lives by telling stories, so take a look at what story you are continually telling. Examine what thoughts you are associating/relating to in the choices of your emotional spectrum. I like to simplify things and remind myself that there really are only two THOUGHTS we can CHOOSE when deciding on how we want to feel – better feeling thoughts or more negative feeling thoughts. So…what wolf are you continually feeding the evil or the good? Just like the stray animal, the one you feed will keep coming back to your door for more.
If you like what I am doing with this site and the message I am sharing then please make sure to share my site and blogs with as many people as you can. It is my vision to be empowering people from within by reaching as many people as I possibly can with a different message of hope than the message the world is sending out of limitation and negativity. Let’s build a better world and send out a message of positivity and love to help others see their true unlimited potential. How do you plan on helping someone else put their best life forward this year? Be the example and share yourself.
© 2012 Chris O’Hearn all rights reserved
