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“A good soldier is not violent.
A good fighter is not angry.
Good winners do not contend.
Good employers serve their workers.
The best leader follows the will of the people.
All of them embody the virtue of noncompetition.
This is called the virtue of noncontending.
This is called employing the power of others.
This since ancient times has been known
as the ultimate unity with heaven.”
Tao Te Ching, Lao-tzu
This quote got me thinking about the dualities of this world we contend with. That to be good at something we have to do whatever is necessary to get what we want, or to have something it is about fighting. In my time in the corporate world, and seeing the office politics, it was common ground to see those who would step on anyone to get what they wanted. And while some of those did get the promotion of money or title they actually lost in the end.
Like the saying, “what good is it to gain the whole world if you lose your soul in the process?” We have forgotten the faces of truth, and character, and of inner beauty as we mar up the earth with our need to beat out another, in our need to push someone down to get what we want, in our belief that winning means there needs to be a loser. The prize at the end of the day is not if you achieved the “thing,” but that you found and kept true to “self” in the process. If you were able to find self, you will find the greatest gift that has eluded so many upon this human existence… inner peace and life purpose.
There is a saying I try to remember in my life daily- “it’s not about being better to beat another but about being our best.” So what if you beat someone, does it really make you better? You don’t know their skill levels, you don’t know what they went through, you don’t know their struggles, you don’t know their strengths. In the end if you are looking to beat another out of something you are not being true to a maxim of happiness in life. When we do our best (for self and not to beat another) we CANNOT be unhappy/unsatisfied for we did all we could. Life is and NEVER will be about hording what is ours (or what we want to be ours) since this world has plenty to go around and offer. This world is ever abundant with gifts. We all have a different path, and if only we learned to embrace the struggles, the joys, and the lessons along the way we would be able to see that life is not about becoming one away from others… but becoming ONE, WHOLE with ALL.
So, how can you be a good follower, how can you be a good leader, how can you be “unified with heaven” as you care about each and everyone not just one? You have been put on this earth to succeed, and you have been put on this earth to HELP others see amazingness at work; being an uplifting energy to help those around you find their true beauty. We are ALL connected and will remain in the pits of hell together until we can let go of our fears of losing out, our fears of being alone and holding onto things greedily, until we can let go of our insecurities by TRYING to prove we are above those around us. You are an amazing gift in this world, and I am looking forward to working with all of you together as we lift each other up and help bring out the best not just in ourselves but in all.
Challenge:
1)Find at least one person that you may not normally go out of your way for (it might be too easy for you to choose a friend), and find a way to help them this week (whether they know it or not).
2)Ask yourself, how can I be at my best today? Not to be better or to prove anything to anyone else, but because when I do my best I feel amazing.
3)Lastly how can you go out of your way for those who are closest to you? Whether it just be as simple as a kind word, or taking some time off to help them reach their goals. It is so easy to take those who are closest to us for granted… Remember those who have put up with your B.S., they deserve some respect for that alone ;)
So, let me know what you thought by commenting below. Would love to open a dialogue to hear your thoughts and ideas on this matter.
© 2012 Chris O’Hearn all rights reserved
Hey Chris–
love your opening quote…i’m a Big Fan of Lao-tzu. i appreciate you reminding us that lifting one another up is the best way to lift ourselves up!
love,
bobbi
You asked “how can you go out of your way for those who are closest to you?” The only answer that comes to mind is first I have to make myself happy before I can help or involve anyone else in my life. I am so negative because I am so unhappy with me. How do I find happiness? I have always been outgoing growing up but now that i am not confident I am always negative. I need to work on being a better parent but it is so difficult I am new to this blog but really hope taht I can find some help and support to become a better me so I can involve myself in others life. I have one family member left (my mom) but I feel like I am losing her to and I need to change before I lose her too.
Well it is good you are realizing that you are not happy. So many of us live the lie that everything is alright. We will talk, but you have to take care of yourself first so you can take care of others. It sounds simple, but in reality until we can silence all the shoulds, musts, have to’s, got to’s, etc then we can start listening to that inner voice that is wise and true. Happiness is not a destination but an internal journey that we are upon at each moment. Once we find ourselves in the present moment and aware of our blessings to enjoy then we can embrace that joy of life (internal and external).