A life with no regrets; this blog could go in any direction but I have a specific message I want to deliver today- The subject of loss and death. In my life coaching practice I have helped others deal with this but it’s always different when it hits you personally. We like to avoid the subject or maybe it’s even we really never think of it until after the fact. Recently my grandfather passed away and even though I believe there is something more to this life than just the physical, it still can be a difficult transitioning process for those of us who are still here after the incident.
Are you living a life of no regrets?
In life I see a lot of unhappiness and unsatisfied people. A question that begs to be asked is are you living a life with no regrets, are you doing what you want and sharing your full emotions with all those around you, or are you finding yourself wishing for another chance to make it right?
Sometimes I think we wish life was like technology. Like with our DVD/Blu-Ray players you can hit pause at anytime, you can rewind or fast-forward with the push of a button; our video game systems give us the chance to have another life or lives and do it all over again. While we can always change our direction in life, and we can choose how we want to feel at each moment; there are some places with no do overs. There is a passage that slips thru our fingers in this physical realm that we will not be able to access after certain things pass us by such as death. While I believe we all are connected and that we can be in contact with spirits that have passed on, while we are still on earth, I do know we only have one chance to experience the physical aspects of those we love right now.
Now this is not to down you, but just to remind you of the fragility of our lives and how we can find true peace when someone we love leaves us. Death is actually a measurement of time to help us make sure we DO NOT take our lives lightly and to help us put priority and purpose upon our time on this earth. So, have you taken the time to sit down and listen to the ones you love, have you taken the time to give them hugs just because, have you taken the time to give them a call and see how they are when you can’t be near them, or have you told them that you love them? Yes while this will be a great thing for their happiness, in the end it really will calm our souls and wishings for a do over, as we will have no regrets if that time ever comes too soon… and it always does come too soon (we want our friends and families to live forever).
From personal experience it is funny how the little things sometimes hit you the hardest, like grandpa riding on his lawn tractor going out to fill the bird houses to feed the birds and squirrels every day. How I still had so many other questions to ask like about your childhood, what your friends did for fun and what mischief you caused, what it was like living in the depression era of the 1930’s, and being thru the second World War (I know he wouldn’t talk about this for he never did, but I still always wanted to know the good things about his travels). I found so much hope and resilience when looking at the people who came from that time and how they made amazing lives after such tragedies. And while we did talk about those things I still find myself yearning to be able to ask him again.
Since he has passed, I do wish I had one more chance to chat with him. To physically sit down and look him in the eyes. I know he knew I loved him, for the last time I saw him I was fixing something at his house, but it is funny how the only way I see his smile now is in my mind. In each moment we choose to find happiness or to find a way to be unhappy. We cannot focus on two things at once. While I don’t know exactly what is on the other side, I do know that the unknown has something so much more than this physical realm. Just by hearing all the stories that cannot be explained, learning about all the energies and waves that years ago would have been thought witchcraft (such as frequencies, energies, waves, cell phones, or radios, etc). Religion and science are not each others enemies, but allies in finding the absolute truth. Some will call it heaven, the after life, nirvana, reincarnation, beyond, or the great unknown, but I will not get caught up in semantics of word play as I will find joy and peace in spreading the great love my grandfather shared with me.
When we do pass on to our next adventure I know it will be something we could never comprehend. But what I do know is that those who have passed are never gone as they live in the smiles, the acts of kindness, the love that we pass on thru our continual focus on the great things they taught us.
While it may be hard to find happiness in the situation, remember it is not in “why were they taken?” But in the gladness we had the chance to know them while they were here. Don’t let the negativity destroy you, for this is not the end. We can choose to grieve for a second or for the rest of our lives, it’s all the same. Don’t be wishing for a do-over for your life. Grieve healthfully and continue on so you don’t miss the other times and best parts of your life. Today is the chance to remember the blessings, the lessons, and the loves we have and have to share with all we come in contact. This present moment is all we are guaranteed. Don’t wait until it’s too late to do what we wished; this is your chance to live a life with no regrets. To make every day your best day. So make time and take time out to love the ones your with, and remember we will all soon be one again.
This is a poem I wrote for the ceremony for my grandfather. Thanks for taking the time to read my blog, it is my hope you find what you are looking for out of this post.
God’s doors have been opened,
To welcome another angel home,
A transition from one part to the next has been set in motion,
Only the destination changed,
For the journey is not over,
It is good that we remember you are not gone,
As you realize your true spirit,
Shedding the rust of old,
We carry your example through the acts of our lives,
By embodying the principles you taught us,
About caring, about giving, about being humble,
A life lived is not one of possessions but of love,
And love you did, and we love you for it,
We will not be sad or sorrowful that you are gone,
But glad we had the chance to know you,
Your life blessed so many,
So let us honor and remember you by,
Living, laughing, and loving every moment we are blessed,
Knowing this angel is standing guard at the gates,
Waiting to welcome us home.
© 2012 Chris O’Hearn all rights reserved